Greetings! Thanks for visiting my site, where you can take a deep dive into You!
If you are new around here, this post will define some terms and ideas that might help as you peruse my website and service offerings (and also help clarify some things if you are playing with us over in The Soul Center on Facebook).
About This Work
My desire is to guide people into personal awakening through the practice of self-compassion.
That is my hope.
That is my passion.
That is my work in the world.
And who I am is a Self-Compassion Guide.
I guide people on deep-dive expeditions of the soul.
I am a Soul-Mapper, if you will.
I stand on the foundation that knowing our Parts of Self and offering them Self-Compassion is the key to growth and healing, and one of the factors necessary for spiritual awakening.
With that stage set, let’s define some terms you’ll see here.
Here are the terms you’ll see most frequently that I will define here:
What is a Part? Contrary to how most of us go through life, thinking we are just one person, we are actually made up of several “sub-personalities,” or “Parts.” Our parts are born at certain times in our lives to help us deal with emotions that are too big to handle and to help us survive and fit in. Most parts solidify in our childhoods and/or with trauma. They are vital to our existence and have helped us when we needed it the most.
There are two main types of parts: 1) The Protectors, whose job it is to protect 2) the Littles.
The Littles: “The Littles” is a term that refers to the more vulnerable Parts of Self. The Littles are your Inner Child(ren) who hold your greatest vulnerability. At the core of each Little is one of the pure emotions of sadness, fear or hurt.
Protectors: “Protector” is the generic name given to any part that is not a Little. Behind each Protector stands a Little. Common Protectors are the Inner Critic, the People-Pleaser, the Bitch, and many others.
Authentic Self: Your Authentic Self is the You (I don’t refer to her as a Part, because she is the *real* YOU) that is centered, calm, confident, curious and compassionate. Your Authentic Self carries perspective and wisdom, and is the source of self-compassion. It is the nurturing energy of your Authentic Self that enables you to deepen your capacity for self-compassion.
Parts Work: Parts work includes three elements: 1) identifying the main Parts that show up in your life, 2) connecting with your Authentic Self, 3) building a relationship between each Part and your Authentic Self, using Self-Compassion as the foundation.
A note on Parts Work: These inner relationships can be very subtle and complex, because even though a Protector is protecting, that Protector may not necessarily be kind to the Little she is protecting. (For example, the Inner Critic really is protecting a terrified Little, but the Inner Critic probably does not like that Little very much, and certainly won’t be kind to her. After all, the Critics job is to criticize the inner Parts, not to be nice.)
But don’t feel bad if you feel overwhelmed! That’s my job…to walk you through your inner Parts landscape!
Who is Driving the Bus of Your Life?
So, how does all this *really* work?
I like to use the metaphor of the “Bus of Your Life.” Imagine your life as winding road, and there is a bus (or a luxury RV if you prefer!) that navigates this winding road. The question to be asking yourself is, “Who is driving the bus of my life?”
Now that you are familiar with the concept of Parts (Protectors, Littles and your Authentic Self), you can start to observe who is in the driver’s seat at different points of your day, week, month. You can observe who takes over the wheel when you are engaging with a colleague, a partner or a neighbor. You can observe who takes the third glass of wine, rummages the refrigerator, buys the clothes you don’t need in order to feel better.
Who is making your decisions?
Who is in your relationships?
Who is needing care?
When areas of our life are dissatisfying, it is often because there is a Part driving the bus of our life. Ideally, we want our Authentic Self to either be driving the bus, or at least navigating with a Part of us.
Think about it: If you have a five-year old Little who is driving the bus, things might not go so well (five-year olds tend to not be the best drivers)!
If you have an Angry Part driving the bus, you might get a speeding ticket.
If you have a Hermit Part in the driver’s seat, you might just pull over under a shade tree and never go anywhere in your life.
When we let our Parts drive the bus of our life, the potential for life to not go how we want it to increases, and many areas of our life can become dissatisfying (or downright miserable).
It is our Authentic Self we want driving the bus of our life as much as possible, because she holds our Inner Wisdom. Your Authentic Self is not a Part of you…she *IS* you.
A Important Final Note on Parts of Self
Is it important to highlight two things about your Parts:
- Every single Part has positive intent. Every one of them is trying to help us. Yes, even the ones we don’t like.
- The goal is never to get rid of a Part! Each Part is vital to who you are. The goal is to build a relationship between your Parts and your Authentic Self. It is in this relationship that we can discover the best of our Parts, and offer gratitude for their work in our life.
Thanks for reading! If this has resonated with you, please take a look at my Service Offerings. And as always, if you have questions about any of this, feel free to reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.